The article doesn’t quite address your full question, however. As you say, some people start out dancing because they want to learn a specific dance. That’s not quite accurate, though it’s close. People start out because they have a specific GOAL; that goal may be learning a specific dance but usually it’s more general. When I know what someone’s goal is I know what to start them with. If someone has the goal of going out social dancing I’ll usually start them with American waltz and east coast swing; the former is relatively easy in the beginning while the latter is one of the most useful dances. If someone is taking lessons because they feel awkward dancing in social situations I’ll start them with merengue so they can work on extremely basic techniques (i.e. changing weight, simple lead and follow) without having complex foot positions to keep track of. If someone wants to compete I’ll start them with quickstep and international rumba, two extremely technical dances that they can work on again without needing to worry about lots of complex figures. If someone wants to dance for exercise and weight loss we do American cha cha and then jive. If someone is getting married we start with whatever song matches their first dance.

As you see from my articles, I’m a big proponent of figuring out one’s goals first then creating a plan to meet those goals. Talk to your teacher about what you want to get out of dance and where you’d like to be in a year. Be honest about what you’re prepared to dedicate to dance in terms of resources – how much time you’re willing to spend at lessons, how much practice you’ll do between lessons, whether you can do group classes and private lessons, whether you’ll practice at home with manuals and DVDs, and of course how much money you’re willing to spend on your dancing – and he or she should be able to create a plan to help you realize those goals as your resources allow.

1) Look elsewhere for lessons. Most areas have multiple dance studios, especially that have children’s dance classes. If this studio can’t cut you any deals and won’t create a program that works with your budget, find a studio that will. Your daughter’s progress will be slower than if she were doing four classes of week – of course it will – but she will still make progress, and unless you (and she) are really aiming for professional dancer, the slower rate will be fine. The goal is to enjoy her development as a dancer.

2) Consider private lessons instead of or in addition to studio classes. Put an ad on Craigslist looking for a private ballet teacher for your daughter. Dancers, especially amateur ballet dancers, tend to be quite abundant and underpaid. For less than the cost of a second class you can probably find a local college student with a dance background who can work one-on-one with your daughter for an hour or two each month in lieu of the second class. Your current studio may try to make you feel guilty about this; don’t let them. Just tell them, “Your couldn’t give us a program that worked with our family budget so we created our own program that does,” and be firm.

3) Continue with the practice at home, the books, the videos, the whole deal. It’s helping more than you probably realize. The number one problem most dancers have is that they don’t get enough practice outside of lessons. You’re helping your daughter develop habits that will serve her as a dancer and in the rest of her life.

4) If you stay at your current studio, talk to your daughter’s teacher and ask her (I’m presuming it’s a her just by probability; most ballet teachers are women, particularly so that work with children) what her goals are for your daughter. Be clear what your budget for dance is and make it clear that that is the budget for everything: lessons, costumes, recital fees, travel, etc., and that if she wants your continued patronage and your daughter as a student, she needs to work with you to create a program that works within that budget. If they can’t, go elsewhere.

When I started my business it was because I was outraged what dance lessons cost and how I felt it blocked many people from being able to enjoy what should be universally accessible. Dancers are artists, and as such most of us empathize with being down and out because most of us are down and out ourselves. There’s a studio and teacher out there for your daughter; I promise.

The studio she attends costs $60/hr/ month. Fine, I can handle one class but they add on $75 for one costume, and $60 more for a recital fee. That is for one class/ week. They are the least expensive in our area and most only give a $5 reduction in the class price for more than one class. I asked about just taking a class without the recital, they scoffed at the idea. She needs studio time, in front of a mirror, with a bar, and a good floor to get the right technique, right? We watch videos online, checked out books at the library and practice at home. Her teacher says she needs at least 4 classes a week to be where “she” wants to be. She is very focused and practices every day. But as someone who dances you probably know she can’t get enough studio time. Nothing like dancing on a real floor with a mirror and a bar for Ballet. I see it in her face when she dances, she loves to dance. Lord help my pocketbook when she gets to pointe. Those shoes are so expensive.

I made her wait 2 yrs to start lessons because we could not afford them, I am making my other children wait for their activities because their sister wants to dance. My son is into science and I would love to send him to science camp and our eldest is a real artist but I can’t afford the painting supplies.

Thank you for your advice. It is just hard as a parent to see your child want something and not be able to give them what other children in our area take for granted. So many of these other girls look like they don’t even want to be there but their moms make them.